How Big is Yours?

Plato, Aristotle and Darwin had BIG ones;
Pythagorus had a looong one;
Santa Clause had a thick one;
Sean Conery has a well trimmed one;
and Gerard Butler has a Perfectly sized one one..




Wait...what exactly are you thinking im talking about?
BEARDS OFCORSE!... One track minds-i swear!!

Facial hair has been there since the time men were Apes..well theyr still Apes but scientists today feel we shouldnt call them that incase we hurt their ity-bity feelings..hence we resort to the name A-holes,Barbarians, sexy mothafakaaas..and ofcorse human beings!

Personally im a big fan of facial hair...(that is well tamed) im not one for clean shaved men..i LOVE the out of bed (gerard butler, Robert Pattinson type), hasnt shaved for a day or two look..but then again iv noticed, facial hair, and the men who adorn it, comes in different phases..

• The pubescent straggly strands..gross..Puberty-what a sick time for everyone! looks more like independent hairs extending from the inside of your nose onto your upper lip..Not a good look for anyone..unfortunatly the Chinese have to live with it all their lives (i joke-no offense-but true life)
  
  
  
• Post Pubescent..uber-cool stubble..my personal favorite..this two has either the struggling artist scruffy (one inch long) beard, that lightly pokes you when you get too close (Ahem!)
  
  or then the, working architect/agent who has a special close cut razor that leave JUSt the right amount of stubble to show how hard hes been working-so hard he didnt have time to shave this morning..two-day stubble..for 2 weeks!
  
  
• Slightly longer than you'd expected, or are comfortable with..and yes i am referring to the Pak cricket team..JESUS! right under our noses..they sprouted these long and disturbing beards..that look absolutely Gross sticking out from under their helmets..eww! HOW could anyone find THAT attractive..no wonder Sania Mirza went for the clean shaved crooked nose..sorry Afridi, get rid of that grossness on your face harbouring all the fungus and bacteria and maybe you could also bag the neighbours girl!
  
  
• Last but not the very least-since its soooo common now..the Taliban-beard a.k.a Religion SAYS-we-should-keep-one-beard. Im not one for stereotypes and generalizations..but excuse me, if a man with a giant beard and shady blood shot eyes steps into a bus, i will be one of the passengers that gets off on the next stop! Those beards are highly UNATTRACTIVE..and i DOUBT GOD was so mean as to use religion to make men less attractive to the opposite sex(even women for that matter in those black raven penguin outfits)...so we never have sex-for pleasure that is! Know what i mean? Or would you like me to explain further? I say, if you GOT it, (and god certainly GAVE it to you)..then FLAUNT IT! GOD wants us to appreciate his art work..right! If he didnt, then he's make us put GIANT black sheets over the mountains, rivers and billy goats!

Im not one to get into religious debates..mostly because my viewpoints- i cant always convey properly! AND i feel religion is a very personal thing-each to their own opinion, i say!
BUT i feel there are more imp things to worry about ( and more imp things GOD has to worry about) than to judge us on whether our beards are EXACTLY the size of a fist or not..

There is a famous Afghan saying.." A woman with a beard, looks like a man..A man without a beard, looks like a woman"

Stupid little statement/saying, that makes me angry enough to rant!
Even with facial hair, i.e, 'Looking like a man'.. doesnt stop them from sodomizing each other, and acting like complete barbarians!
Why must everything become a gender issue with these people?
The Neanderthal male, dominant figure-head, breeeding more of his like-minded mini-me's!
I saw a show with a 13 year old Afghan boy who was slapping around his 22 year old sister and forbidding her from going out to buy groceries, because some random stranger, another pubescent afghan boy would whistle at her when she left the house..who got the beating? the Girl..whose rights of freedom were snatched away? the Girl? Who got disrespected by a child? the Girl!
And when asked why he is doing all the forbidding..he said my father is out fighting the war..i am the 'MAN OF THE HOUSE..', and all the while im thinking...if i was his sister, or his MOTHER for that matter..id Give him two slaps and tell him to shutup, and act his pubescent little age!

..he even had on his little pubescent starggly mostache-chinese style!
Made me so mad!
Am i the only one?

THIS is why i prefer living in my bubble..its not worth getting your blood pressure up and boiling! Im happy in my utopian-bubble, where i see no evil-hear no evil-and ignore injustice..but it still hurts when i look out my bubble-window and see all thats happening..
It hurts alot!!!



..Mushabooom*